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so this is the sound... [entries|friends|calendar]
... that murder makes.

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[17 Mar 2006|01:56am]
Her back pressed against that old brick wall,
Like a scene in a Hollywood picture show
Rain falling down and the mood is set, but don't worry - you haven't heard the best part yet.
She said, "Slow down boy, this love was meant to last"
With a whisper, a chilling touch like glass…
And I'm yours. It's a terrible feeling to be wanted. (And you know I want this…)
Wipe the sweat off your lips and I'm moving down further,
Make excuses, shrug it off, girl don't bother.
"Slow down boy, this love was meant to last"
It's 2 AM and the clock is ticking faster now…

These paths will lead us back to the start,
Come to realize you never quite got that far,
I've been moving forward with nothing to show,
The clock is ticking faster it's time to go…

Move closer and press your hips to mine,
Little red lips spread little white lies.
If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine
Our secrets can be small talk tonight.
Come closer and press your cheek to mine,
Feel the beat of my heart and my conscience dying
I never wanted anything more than this,
If I said we should stop, you know that I'd be lying…

These paths will lead us back to the start,
Come to realize you never quite got that far,
I've been moving forward with nothing to show,
The clock is ticking faster it's time to go…
and the truth is..

Oww. [03 Aug 2005|07:42pm]
So I just changed my earrings for the first time in a year, going from a 20 gauge straight to a 12 gauge.

My advice:
Never do it. Ouch.

-J.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Hiya. [01 Aug 2005|02:29pm]
Greetings from beautiful Wilmington, North Carolina.
On vacation til' the 9th, picking up my sister who stayed down here for the summer.

Erm... long time no speak. Hmm.
Drove to Myrtle Beach last night and saw Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals. Awesome to the max. For sure. Right at the front on the left side of the stage... played 29 songs/for three hours. Crazy.

Back to Clarion on the 16th. R.A. training and all of that good shit... yeah. Summer went way-way-way too fast. I worked too much and my weekends were a blur. Did some drinking, a little smoking, and a whole lot of driving my drunk ass friends around. Alas, another summer is coming to an end. Bah.

I'll write back later. Maybe.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Peekshures. [04 Jul 2005|08:13pm]
So, I went to Niagara Falls (Canada) with my boys Ian and Ozzy this weekend. Melee ensued. Here's a few, mostly PG pictures.




I walked 22 blocks each way for a case of beer.


Then I got ruined.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

ZzZ. [27 Jun 2005|09:10pm]
Work makes me tired.
and the truth is..

The Deadliest of Sins. [01 Jun 2005|01:21am]
Quarter til’ three with no end in sight,
Party for two now, rendezvous with the night.
Close your eyes and tell me everything you’re dying to say…
Open your heart, take a breath, and let the past fade away…

This is the sudden realization that all you’ve ever wanted, and all you’ve ever needed…is someone to hold.
Long summer nights and short winter days, days far in the future and memories of old,
No matter the situation, the time or the place.
Will all end identically - recollections of your face…

The canopy of the night sky blankets us from the world,
And for a moment, this seems so right…
Our heartbeats are the soundtrack to a thousand jumbled words, the confessions of two souls striving so desperately to be heard.

Because the truth is, you intrigue me - though i'd never admit it to your face,
you've got me sinking deeper and it's quicksand I just can't escape.

God knows it's a deadly sin, and I can't help that i'm sinkin' in...

It’s rising faster and I’m losing ground,
Sinking deeper, the deafening sound
Of rejection, denunciation and the words that you said
Splintering through my soul, resounding in my head.


This is the sudden realization that everything you’ve ever known and everything you’ve ever seen, will one day drift away…
Breath in and exhale, open up and tell me all the things you’ve got to say.

“The deadliest of sins… is never truly knowing…”
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Finishing an earlier writing... [30 May 2005|10:25pm]
“A Bullet Through The Heart” was all she wrote.
And in the blink of an eye, the world stopped on a dime and slowly held its breath.
The shallow breathing of an innocent young man pulsated through the air, and for a brief moment, there was only you and I.

Waiting, hoping, praying… (This can’t be happening)
Questioning, screaming, cursing… (You’re making a mistake)
Confessing, pleading, accepting… (You’ve done what you’ve had to…)
Making one last stand… (Don’t ever look back)

So when the day comes...
that you finally open your eyes and see
see the truth in front of you...
see the real me,
I hope you finally realize that through all the bullshit
the fights, the lies, and everything in between,
it's only you I see when I dream.
You're all I see when I scream my fucking lungs out.
and the truth is..

Yeah, so... [28 May 2005|10:51pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I got my first real haircut in three years today.



Oooooo.

1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Interstate Romance. [22 May 2005|11:00pm]
And these blood shot eyes and this tired smile are simply road signs pointing you to where i've been and where i'm dying to be...

Stop signs and dead end streets, scenic views i'll never see...

Throw the car in gear and drive, drive so far away. Away from my troubles and away from my fears. A road trip to forgotten times and brighter years.

... away from here.

Because this interstate romance died before it even started, and i've given up on pushing the issue and showing you what I believe you need. You need me like a flat-tire in South Dakota, and I need you like...

... we're headed down different roads, but one day our paths will intersect again. And when they do, we'll laugh and realize that we never really stood a chance.
and the truth is..

ANOTHER Entry?! [30 Apr 2005|08:34pm]
2 Entries in 3 days. Wow.

Just responding to some comments left for the last entry... I get free room and board and 250 bucks a month to be an RA. Good stuff.

Amber and I just uh, drifted apart... to be blunt. Don't feel like getting into it, but it was pretty ugly. Yeah.

That's about it.
and the truth is..

Wow. [26 Apr 2005|11:52pm]
Umm, wait.. I had a LiveJournal? Whoops, forgot about that one.

Yeah, school is going well. Got an RA position for next year. I drink a lot. Having a good time.

Oh yeah, by the way... Amber and I broke up. Forgot about that one. Oh well.

Hey hey, catch you later... bitches.
3 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

:( [07 Dec 2004|09:40pm]
So... I found out yesterday that a friend of mine growing up died on Saturday of an apparent heroin overdose... 23 years old...

My best friend Derrick and I were inseperable from the time I was 6 months old til around the age of 12 when I moved about 10 miles down the road. His older brother Dallas was 5 years older than me and was the prototypical older brother. I swear, it was like he was cast for a TV sitcom. Pudgey with a shaved head and always pulling shit. He was absolutely hysterical, and I looked up to him. I don't have an older brother, so when I was younger, he was basically the closest thing I had to one.

He was the cause of a million headaches, 4 broken pairs of glasses (Mom loved him for this one), uncountable practical jokes, and one serious ass head injury. When I was about 10, we were playing football in the back yard. I went around the end on a run and got piledrived into the sidewalk going down through their yard. When I woke up around three minutes later, I was bleeding from my nose and mouth, before I began puking everywhere. Dallas had given me a severe concussion, forcing me into the hospital for observation for 2 days. I even had to get CAT Scans! For a 10 year old... there's nothing cooler.

... yeah.

But honestly, he was a great guy. When we needed rides to places, he was there to drive us... reluctantly of course. I smoked my first cigarette with the guy (okay... not such a great role model), and got my first porno off him. When I got into high school, he was the first person to acknowledge and let me know that I had a friend there. He was the brother I never had.

Rest in peace, Dallas.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Wu Tang Clan ain't nuttin' to fuck wit. [02 Dec 2004|02:06pm]
And neither am I.

Hi. Quick post to let you know that i'm still lazy, i'm still procrastinating on all of my work, and I still rock so much harder than you could ever imagine.

Seriously.

-J
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Procrastination. [17 Nov 2004|10:33pm]
I'm putting off finishing my study guide for my History exam tomorrow just to write in here. Feel lucky, god damnit.

Amber and I fought non-stop the last two days over the stupidest shit. It was pretty bad, but of course... ended with crazy wild monkey make up sex. Like you'd expect anything less.

I'm pretty excited to go home again for Thanksgiving. I've been looking forward to all that food for a month. I plan on gaining 30 pounds of pure fat. Mmm... filling...

I have to do a field experience at my high school on Wednesday. I get to go in and shadow one of my history teachers' class and write about it for my final Education paper. Luckily, i'm with probably the best teacher i've ever had and by far the most interesting.

Umm... yeah.

Kthxbye.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Woooooo. [11 Nov 2004|09:44am]
I'm going home today after my history class at 11. Fucking rightttttttttt, bee-yetches. I'm so tired of being here, I never though i'd be happy to go back to the valley. I plan on driving straight home and throwing my bags on the floor, before jumping into my bed and sleeping for the next 30 hours.

Mmm, bed that isn't the size of a sleeping bag/creaks all night/is like laying on bare springs...

Not to mention, REAL FOOD! You really don't understand how sickening a spicy chicken sandwich gets when you eat it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I'm going to eat everything in the house. Everything.

In your face, Clarion.
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

A picture entry. [09 Nov 2004|01:07am]
So umm, I went to a costume party at a frat house for Halloween.


It was flurrying all day here... crazy.


And on Saturday, Amber straightened my hair... I for whatever reason ended up looking like a Japanese teenage girl/just plain weird.




Wowww.
5 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Yo. [27 Oct 2004|12:16pm]
Just checking in. School is going alright, I suppose.
Still can't find a job, applying to work with elementary kids tutoring them after all of my classes.

Rocking the shit out of my Education, History, and Political Science classes. Getting my shit rocked in Bio and Econ.

Went home this last weekend... won't be going back until Thanksgiving. I miss my friends, but I actually miss my family more. Didn't think i'd ever say that, but yeah. I can tell my dad is really bummed about how far away I am, and it sucks.

Yeah.
2 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

Hi, [29 Sep 2004|04:55pm]
College sucks. Too much shit to do.

Love,
J.
xoxo
1 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

So uh, where you think you're goin', boy? [04 Sep 2004|08:34pm]
After a four hour drive home from Clarion, I just wanted to see my friends. I resisted the urge of drinking at school, in fear of getting caught, and was pretty set on getting fucked up. Amber told me not to, how she didn't want me to drink...

Poker and beer. Poker and beer. Fucking poker I don't play and fucking beer I rarely drink. Since I don't play poker (ever), I decided to crack open a few and watch a Stephen Lynch comedy special with Lacie in the living room. A quarter bottle of rum and two beers later, I was still sober... but sort of feeling it.

I went outside with Ian to talk to him while he smoked a cigarette. Bullshitting about everything from girls to school, he went through about three cigs. I turned my head and commented on three sets of headlights coming up the driveway.

"Hmm... who the hell could that be dude?"
"Beats me."

The lights stop... and i'm running through the house looking for a backdoor. Chubbs breaks open a screen-door in the kitchen. Mother fucking run.

"So uh, where you think you're goin', boy?" Oh... shit. My life was over. I'm going to school for EDUCATION. According to the state of Pennsylvania, an offense like this = someone isn't getting their teaching certificate. My whole life... to be blunt... was fucked.

"We're just going to give you all Disorderly Conduct. We were all kids once, and it's obvious you were all going to stay here." Three of the four cops were great people, and then there's Wade. You fucking pig. What followed over the next few hours was just messed up. Death threats, setting up cop-stings, and more and more people getting dragged into them.

I don't even want to get into that. Nearly four hours after they had arrived, I finally got a breathalizer to see if I could drive home. .068. "Holy shit boy, you better not be leaving til' early morning. You must be a real fucking lightweight." Bastard.

When I finally got home and told my mom, I thought I was in the clear. She's always been weird about stuff like that... understanding yet disappointed... when she could scream like a banshee for an hour over the stupidest things. I wasn't telling my dad, I haven't told my dad, and I really don't plan on it. I texted Amber, telling her that I had gotten off without underage drinking, but had gotten a disorderly conduct fine. She's supportive, she'd sympathize with me...

It's on the rocks. It's... bad. She's had it and I fucked up bad this time. Going against what she thought, I supposedly care more about beer than her. Taking the weekend to think things over. Maybe you should think about yourself... find out what you're doing. Whether or not you want to be in this with me.

Time for some soul searching, John.

I threw away my pipe tonight, finally. After nearly a year of sobriety, I finally just... chucked it. I was holding onto it for some weird reason... almost waiting for the day i'd finally cave in. This... is my wake-up call. People have been calling and messaging me all day, about how bad they feel for me. They know I don't drink. They know it's the old John Boxter luck, and that I don't deserve this.

But uhh.. I do. I've said so many times that I don't want to end up like my dad, and I just keep contradicting myself. I need this to kick my fucking ass and show me what i'm doing. I don't appreciate her like I should. I take advantage of her being there and always supporting me, and i'm going to lose that.

Poker and beer. Poker and beer. Poker and beer.
and the truth is..

Hi. [01 Sep 2004|01:26pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Hola from Clarion University.

I've been quite busy getting moved in and situated and what have you, but I think i'm finally getting settled in. I... slept through my 8AM Political Science class this morning. My... first PC class. Ouch?

But uh, yeah... just checking in.

2 stones thrown.| and the truth is..

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